Only the Lonely
By Lisa Lakey
A fairly introverted person, I tend to relish time and space to myself. I enjoy those rare, quiet moments where I can be alone with my thoughts. Yet, it caught me off guard when, right in the middle of marriage and kids, I began to feel a profound sense of loneliness.
It wasn’t that I felt alone in a physical sense. But deep down, I felt no one really saw me.
Loneliness is a bit of an enigma that way. It’s similar to walking into a crowded room full of strangers. And loneliness doesn’t have to make sense to be devastating. The further it grips you, the further it isolates you from those you love.
Often, as the pressures of life pile up—kids, crazy schedules, work, and more decisions than anyone wants to make—instead of turning toward each other, we tend to pull away. We isolate our thoughts, emotions, and even our affections from those we love most.
But unlike my own struggle with loneliness, David goes on to say in verse 20, “I take refuge in you.” Instead of pulling away and hiding in his grief, he takes comfort in the One who sees him.
When I finally fessed up to my husband how I had been feeling, he shocked me. “I’m lonely, too,” he said. Maybe you’re battling something similar. Maybe your spouse has hinted to you they haven’t felt connected.
Here are four things to remember when loneliness hits:
- Feelings are just feelings.
- You have to fight strong emotion with truth.
- You need to discuss these feelings with your spouse.
- Reconnect with the One who is always with you.
Just as David took refuge in God during his darkest moments, remember He is ready and waiting to be your refuge as well. And He promises to “never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). No matter how lonely you may feel, you are not alone.
The good stuff: The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant. My eyes are ever toward the Lord, for he will pluck my feet out of the net. (Psalm 25:14-15)
Action points: If you struggle with loneliness, confess it to your spouse. To fight against the loneliness, commit to reading Scripture together every evening to grow your connection with God and each other.
Visit the FamilyLife® Website