Trusting God Through Unanswered Questions - Your Nightly Prayer - October 3
Your Nightly Prayer
Audio By Carbonatix
By Peyton Garland, Crosswalk.com
Trusting God Through Unanswered Questions
TONIGHT’S SCRIPTURE
“Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.” Psalm 51:8 (NIV)
SOMETHING TO PONDER
Two weeks ago, my three-year-old son was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I keep hoping that the more I say it—the more people I share it with—the less I’ll have to bring it up. If everyone knows, the reality doesn’t feel like a repeated blow day after day.
We humans are great at throwing up defense mechanisms so our hearts take fewer hits. But in my situation, over-sharing the problem doesn’t fix it. Not when your baby’s uphill battle is on paper, and there’s little you can do to pretend sadness doesn’t remain. Sharing it with others doesn’t stop the insulin shots, blood sugar tests, and doctor's appointments.
As a Christian-school kid, I was taught that God is good. And He truly, deeply is. My faith in Him remains irrevocably stalwart. However, no one taught me what to do when God’s plan doesn’t feel good.
When truth doesn’t make faith easy.
When truth doesn’t fix the earthly problem.
When knowing that all things work out in the end, but that doesn’t let my baby eat ice cream like a normal kid.
Sometimes, God’s plan doesn’t make sense. Sometimes, God’s plan hurts. In these moments, He still calls me to rest in His wisdom.
This can be miserably hard, especially when you’re like me and want to fix the situation… even when you know it’s outside your control.
So how do you truly rest in God’s wisdom? I’m no biblical scholar, but I'll share two things that have already helped me:
1. Letting myself feel sad, angry, and frustrated.
To pretend these feelings aren’t real, or to try to make them sound churchy, won’t let you take your true condition to God. Of course, you aren’t meant to use sadness, anger, and frustration to sin, judge, or grow bitter. But acknowledging where your head and heart are is the only way to begin healing.
2. Counting all the blessings I have.
At first, this might feel frustrating, but that’s kind of the point. You are meant to exhaust yourself by counting so many blessings because it puts your situation in an eternal perspective. Of course, my son’s diagnosis feels impossibly heavy, like there isn’t a way to “balance” it out. And there isn’t.
But it’s also equally impossible to ignore the way God granted me a parking space right in front of the emergency room when it was just me juggling both of my kiddos.
The way my son’s lead nurse has a little cousin who was just diagnosed with Type 1.
The way our son (who is obsessed with trees) found the managing nurse’s Christmas tree she decorates year-round, and she let him visit it whenever he wanted.
The way friends left a huge bag of toys for him once we returned from the hospital.
The way so many people, from our insurance representative to those helping us with finances in this season, have a child with Type 1 or another chronic illness.
The way our son sleeps through his nighttime injection without waking up.
To deny God the glory for His continuous outpouring of tenderness and care in this season would be nothing short of wrong.
YOUR NIGHTLY PRAYER
Lord, thank you for choosing to be a God of love, compassion, and empathy. Thank you for being the creator, cultivator, and sustainer of hope and light, for carrying our souls, even when they are bitter or frustrated with you.
In your kindness, continue to extend us patience and grace. Gift us eternal eyes that see past our circumstances. Gift us hands that will release our false sense of control. Gift us feet that follow you when our soles feel heavy. Pour out the piece of heaven on earth that helps us make spiritual sense of earthly chaos.
In your name, Jesus, bring sin’s curse to its knees. Crush it under your feet.
Let us hear joy and gladness so the bones, even those you have crushed, can and will rejoice.
God, your wisdom truly is above our understanding and far greater than our feelings can process. So even when we don’t want to accept that, even when we don’t understand why you’ve chosen to break us, we choose you. Even if it’s with gritted teeth, we will say, “Great are you, Lord.”
THREE THINGS TO MEDITATE UPON
What unanswered question or painful circumstance do I need to honestly bring before God tonight instead of trying to make sense of it on my own?
Where can I see evidence of God’s tenderness and care, even in a season that doesn’t feel good or make sense?
What am I trying to control that God may be asking me to release into His wisdom and care?
Reflect on tonight’s prayer and share how God met you there. Join the Your Nightly Prayer discussion on the Crosswalk Forum.
Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Vitaly Gariev
Peyton Garland is an author, editor, and boy mama who lives in the beautiful foothills of East Tennessee. Subscribe to her blog Uncured+Okay for more encouragement.
