Struggling in Marriage Is Not Failing

Audio By Carbonatix

Let’s be honest, it doesn’t feel good when you struggle in your marriage. Maybe it’s been years of denying that any problems exist until the walls of your marriage foundation begin to show signs of cracking. Discontent seeps in through arguments, sarcastic tones, and a diminished desire to be together or seek physical intimacy. It’s a scary place for a marriage to be, but remember that just because you’re struggling, that doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there. 

The journey of marriage is filled with both struggles and triumphs. When you feel like the walls are not only cracking but closing in on you, it seems like the easiest response is to give up and let them fall. You’d feel a temporary release from the pressure, but the agony of defeat would quickly follow once the walls landed on you. 

That’s what couples don’t anticipate. When a couple decides to divorce, I think they feel better right away due to the fact that they made a decision. I believe, however, their real pain is masked. The grief and sorrow emerge gradually when the reality of that decision settles in. 

The kids have to be told and that will not be received well. Many couples assume their kids are resilient or that they’ll understand this decision because it’s happened to so many of their friends’ parents. They quickly discover that’s not what their kids are thinking at all. Their kids are devastated. 

Extended family members are usually next to find out, and they quickly take sides. The sister-in-law or brother-in-law who was their best friend decides blood is thicker than water. The division of property follows and everyone’s true colors start showing. A couple realizes they can’t share an attorney after all. Divorce is not at all like what this couple expected. It’s a lot worse.

Instead of taking the easy way out, don’t think of your struggling as failure, but as fighting for what you want. Instead of giving in or giving up, try giving it all you’ve got. In order to succeed in anything, especially marriage, you have to overcome the challenges, get around the roadblocks, and be determined. Sticking with it and working to navigate through the difficult times will help you to win more often at home.