Financial Unity

Audio By Carbonatix

Recently, a newly-married couple shared some details about their honeymoon with me. No, not about that, but something of a financial nature. On the day before the end of their glorious vacation, the new bride was acting a little sad and down. Of course, it could have been because the honeymoon was nearly over—that would have been expected, but the new groom had a feeling that there was more to it. After he worked relentlessly trying to get her to disclose what was wrong, the love of his life finally confessed.

It seems the bride had contracted a contagious bug prior to the nuptials. The “I just have to have this for my wedding” bug. This illness, which infects many brides and grooms, prompted this young woman to take out a small loan to cover the cost of some of the wedding items that she believed were desperately needed in order to complete the day. The problem is, she and her husband had discussed all of this prior to the wedding and had agreed that they didn’t need those things. But one of the symptoms of this disease is that rational thinking often gets thrown out the window. The bride or groom really believes that they have to have it!

Financial infidelity has similar consequences to marital infidelity, with the biggest impact being a betrayal of trust. While this groom has forgiven his bride, I have no doubt that he will be scrutinizing the credit card bills more closely and perhaps questioning his wife more specifically when she goes shopping. Even though he gave his wife an immediate assurance of forgiveness, it will take time before he completely trusts her again.

In order to help avoid financial infidelity, there are some important guidelines that you might want to consider implementing.

The first one is to establish a dollar amount that you and your spouse can spend without the other person’s approval. Be sure to make it realistic and reasonable.

Review your finances together at least monthly. It’s okay if one spouse is primarily responsible for paying the bills, as long as both spouses know what is happening with their money. One person shouldn’t neglect their financial duties just because they aren’t good with numbers or don’t like dealing with finances.

Agree on a financial strategy and stick to it. One strategy may be a cash-only policy. With this system, you agree not to purchase anything unless you can pay cash for it. If you choose to use credit cards, another strategy is that the card must be paid off in full each month.

These are just a few recommendations to help keep you financially united. It’s probably the least fun part of marriage, but if these situations are addressed up front, there will be less financial unfaithfulness and more winning at home.